1 Comment so far

1.   ritajeanstangherlin on January 18th, 2009

   Not sure why your blog reacts the way it does to comments, but I have to move back and forth to make them.

   Having said that, I have some issues with your essay:

   Your title should read:
   iPhone and Its Benefits to Society (and no period) -1

   Your first paragraph is 2 sentences, not 8, and does not follow the format. You have mechanical errors and typos in those 2 sentences. -14

   Paragraph 2 has 3 sentences, almost bordering on a run-on in one. -16

   Paragraph 3 has 2 sentences. -16

   Paragraph 4 has 2 sentences. -16

   Paragraph 5 has 2 sentences. -16

   You need to address the topic and tell why the iPhone is the most important technological invention by listing 3 things. You really need to follow the formula we use in class. And you need to write 8 sentences in each paragraph.

   No EC.

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